


Doors to Hell and Back

by savorybakery



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Adventure, Demon Shane Madej, Funnies Ensue, Gen, Platonic Relationships, The Backrooms - Freeform, slight blood
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:22:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23676061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/savorybakery/pseuds/savorybakery
Summary: After an unfortunate mishap, the Goul Boys must clock in a favor from The Big Man Downstairs. However, undoing their predicament may cost a little more than a simply kind service.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 40





	1. Elevators to Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Giving fics a try again after a long time. Let me know what y'all think!

Mister Bergara felt his fingertips turn cold, tightening his rested hands into fists to regain any semblance of heat. Before he could drift off back to sleep, he felt a push against his left cheek. He used one of his freezing cold hands to push it away to resume his plunder into slumber, but once he did, the finger persisted; pushing harder.

“C’mon buddy.” A husky voice murmured over him. “Get up. We’ve got some business to attend to and not a moment to spare.”

Ryan groaned through a closed throat, pushing himself off the hard surface of the ground before thinking of prying his eyes awake.

“Wh...what the f...uck?” He muttered, rubbing his eyes in preparation to commit to opening them. “I didn’t fall asleep on the ground, did I?”

In his groggy delirium, his brain connected (albeit, slowly) the voice to his friend and co-star, Shane.

“No. You didn’t.” Shane took his friend's hand, wrapped his other hand around his arm and pulled him to his feet. Ryan yawned, staring at the beige carpet of his apartment floor.

“That’s right,” Ryan recalled. “I was doing some research for next season’s scripts.”

“Yeah.” Shane sounded slightly annoyed. “And then you fainted, fell backward, and  _ cracked your fucking skull open _ .”

Ryan put a hand to the back of his head. It didn’t  _ feel  _ cracked.

“What are you…?” Then he caught sight of a stray foot on the floor beneath him. Connected to a leg… a torso… everything else… and a head bearing the likeness of himself.

Now,  _ that  _ Ryan was laying in a pool of blood and glass, a broken-ass chair and thin rebar beside him.

Ryan was suddenly a lot more awake.

“ _ OH MY FUCKING GOD!”  _ He screamed. He got down on his hands and knees, trying to touch his physical form, only to phase right through.

“Okay, now hold on, pal.” Shane calmly intruded. “Calm down a minute.” He pulled his friend up once again and held his arm.

“Shane?!” Ryan cried. “What’s going on?! Am I dead?! Why are you at my house?! Did you  _ kill _ me?!”

“What?” Shane was caught off guard, nonetheless chuckled. “Oh no. Oh god, no.”

Ryan studied his friend's expression, only for his eyes to wander upwards. A pair of two, thick, dark red horns adorned his head.

“What is…?” Ryan breathlessly huffed. He began to hyperventilate.

“Don’t even worry about it. We’ll have you fixed up in a jiffy!” Shane smiled, completely calm and under control. He gave his friend a pat on the shoulder and motioned for him to follow out of the bedroom door, into the living room.

“Shane!” Ryan shouted to get the attention of his pal. He felt a lump stick to his throat and queasiness in his stomach.“Can you give me some kind of idea…?”

“Okay.” Shane sighed, searching the room for something. As he spoke, he pushed furniture aside. “So you passed out, ate shit on the coffee table, and maybe- just kinda- sort of- slightly died. Bu-but! It is  _ not  _ permanent. We can fix this! Just take it easy.”

“What are you doing to my living room?” Ryan demanded.

“Just need a blank wall…” Shane muttered. He removed a painting from its nail, and effortlessly pulled the nail out of the wall. He then retreated to the office, to which Ryan attempted to follow, before Shane took broad steps back into the living room, hands drenched in blood. He began using his fingers to paint a perfectly rectangular shape upon the wall.

“Woah, hey!” Ryan shouted. “The fuck are you doing to my wall?!”

“Wuh-? Don’t worry about the damn wall! I think we have slightly more pressing matters to attend to!” Shane replied, splitting the rectangle in two with a line vertically down the middle. Above the tall rectangle, he painted a half-circle, before printing the characters of an unknown language into the half-circle.

In a moment, the lines of the creation became much more pronounced, before receding into a seam. A bell rang, and the two parts of the rectangle retreated into themselves, like an elevator door. In fact, there was suddenly a small condensed space where the wall  _ should  _ have led out to the outside of the building.

“Well, c‘mon then.” Shane guided his friend by the arm to the elevator. But before he could step inside, Ryan pulled back, making Shane release his grip.

“I don’t like this.” He firmly stated. Shane sighed, before running a hand through his wild hair, between his horns.

“Buddy, I swear that I won’t hurt you. I’m only trying to fix your predicament.” Shane said, never breaking eye contact with his companion. “I’m the same Shane you have always known.”

For a moment, it was silent, before Ryan finished staring at the ground.

“You promise?” He asked.

“I promise.” Shane nodded. Shakily, Ryan stepped into the elevator with his friend. “We’ll be back before you know it.” The elevator door closed behind them both, and the descent began.


	2. The Rooms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys make their way to the Big Man himself.

It was silent for a long time, save for the sounds of the exterior of an elevator cart. Ryan stood, staring at the door, a blank expression on his face, and Shane similarly staring at the ceiling.

“So…” Ryan huffed. “The horns…?”

“Yep,” Shane replied.

“And if you were able to see me when I’m dead…?”

“Yep.”

“You’re a…?”

“Yep.” Shane awkwardly finished.

“How long have you been a demon?” Ryan finally said the word on both of their minds.

“Since forever, pretty much.”

“Like,  _ forever _ -forever, or like not-that-long-ago-forever?”

“I’ll tell you about it some time.”

“I can’t believe it,” Ryan put a hand up to his forehead, rustling his hair from his sweaty face. “Demons are real. The afterlife is real.” He stood, dumbstruck before turning to Shane, a terrible question hanging from his lips. “Are we… going to Hell?!”

“Oh yeah.” Shane, seemingly unperturbed by the idea, smiled. “Yeah, but it’s not as bad as everyone has pretended it is for millennia.”

“Not as bad?!” Ryan echoed. “Isn’t it the home of undisputed evil and eternal fire?”

“Sounds more like you just described West Hollywood, huh!” Shane nudged his friend, who remained wide-eyed; not even breathing out a single chuckle. He cleared his throat before continuing “Really it’s not that bad. It isn’t  _ evil _ . At least not the upper crusts. Ol’ Lucifer ain’t but a fun guy either!”

“I feel like you’re only trying to make me feel better,” Ryan said.

“Okay- so maybe we’re going to somewhere more like  _ purgatory  _ but we’re still off to see the Big Guy himself.”

“Yeah, this… is, uh, a lot to process.” Ryan adjusted his spectral hair.

“We can talk about it a little later. After we un-fuck the situation.” Shane gave his buddy a patient grin and a pat of the back “Eh?”

Ryan felt a twinge of confidence return to his soul, a shy grin appearing on his face in the exchange.

Finally, the rotors above the elevator cart seemed to have slowed to a halt, before the doors squealed open.

It would be a lie to say that Ryan  _ wasn’t _ expecting hell to be entirely made of fiery, burning landscapes. Luckily, it (at least in this part) seemed to be a musty old hallway, with off-white walls and a smelly, beige carpet.

Shane stepped out of the elevator first, which caused Ryan to catch something he hadn’t quite caught before. The shorter man let out a gasp, before throwing his hand to his mouth to muffle a giggle.

“What’s the issue?” Shane asked, turning back.

“I- ah- uh…” Ryan began, trying to wipe a dumbstruck smile from his face. “Is that a-?”

“Tail? Yes.” Shane scowled, jokingly. Behind him, a thin wiry appendage (complete with a spearhead-point at the end) held itself in the air, curling testily as its bearer spoke. “Yes it is, Ryan.”

“That’s great.” Ryan finally developed a full smile to his face, even for a moment, before stepping out of the elevator after Shane. They both watched as the empty elevator closed its doors, and the edges disappeared into the wall, leaving a seamless wallpaper finish across its surface.

“We shouldn’t run into anyone down here. The Ol’ Backrooms aren’t too popular of a destination, at least for anyone who has access to ‘em.” Shane started down to the hall left of them, hands deep in his pockets and making long strides with his lanky legs. “Now, let me know as soon as you see a water cooler.”

The hum of fluorescent lights was the only sound aside from the muffled footsteps of the two pals. Strange paintings hung in tacky frames across the walls. The hallway, however, experienced several twists and turns without the slightest hint of a door in any direction.

“Remind me to show you my office before we leave. It’s on this floor.” Shane said, turning around and walking backward to make eye contact with his bud.

“You got an office on the same floor as Satan himself?” Ryan asked.

“Yeah. It’s a long story. We’re kind of cool with one another. He’s still kind of my boss, though.” Shane said in a hushed tone.

“I mean, we’ve been walking a while,” Ryan scratched the back of his scalp. “I think we have left time for a long story.”

They walked upon a three-way intersection of the corridor, to which Shane looked to the right of and shook his head.

“Fortunately enough, I’ve found that water cooler. It’ll have to wait for another time, Rye.” Shane walked straight down that hall towards the comforting sight of a water cooler. Well, as comforting as it can be with crimson liquid floating in the plastic cylinder on it.

“Is that blood?!” Ryan shivered.

“Yeah, but it’s not important where it comes from. This is how we get to his office.” Shane shrugged. He took a cup off the stand and put it beneath the spout, pushing the handle and causing it to pour into the styrofoam container. Bubbles of air rumbled to the surface of the plastic jug.

“Ugh my god- I think I’m gonna throw up,” Ryan said, peeling his eyes from the display and redirected himself to the ceiling.

“Shh!” Shane shushed as he dipped his fingers into the concoction. As before, he painted up a doorway, this time with a door handle and a window. He snickered distastefully. “Take a lucky guess what number the big guy’s office is.”

In the center of the window, Shane painted three number six’s beside each other before the blood began to glow a bright red, and before them now stood a door, and the cup had vanished from the demon’s hand.

“Cool, right?!” Shane smiled, reaching for the handle. Ryan put a hand on his friend’s, seizing it momentarily.

“Wait,” Ryan said. “Are we just going in there?! What’s the game plan?”

“Just let me do the talking. Trust me, it’s not that bad.” Shane twisted the handle, pushing inwards to a very formal waiting room.

The walls were now a striped, red wallpaper and dark wood finish along the floor and ceiling. Chairs with similarly colored wood and satin cushions lined the walls as well. To the one side, protruding from a wall, sat a window. Standing at the window from the side of the waiting room, was a humanoid husk, standing a little over 8 feet tall, with exposed ribs and tusks hanging from its top jaw. An older female’s voice spoke to it from the window.

“And I told the guy- I said- ‘This isn’t even the worst-‘“ the voice ceased the telling of its story from beyond the foggy glass. “Wait a- is there someone there?”

The tall creature silently nodded at her, before waving at her.

“Okay. I’ll talk to you later, Tompson.” She said. The tall thing- Tompson- walked past the boys, leaning over for a moment to stare at puny Ryan, before continuing out the door.

“Beatrice!” Shane happily half-shouted across the lobby, coming closer to the window. Ryan shakingly followed, only to be relieved by the sight of a more human-looking woman with graying hair. She could have been in her sixties, but as far as Ryan knew, she could be eons older than that.

“Shane, honey! How are you!” She said, then taking a glance at his mortal friend. “Oh! A mortal visitor! We’ll have you both in just a moment! He’s a little occupied at the minute.”

“Alrighty,” Shane smiled, “Mind if we have a seat? Just had a trek through the old hallways.”

“Oh! For sure! Go on ahead.” Beatrice chortled. “I’ve been telling them for decades now to make it easier to find a cooler…”

Shane turned to the comfortable chairs in the waiting room, and Ryan flashed a nervous smile to Beatrice, to which she returned. They both had a seat, though Ryan sat forward, nervously tapping his foot.

“Would ya calm down Ryan and just read a magazine?” Shane rolled his eyes.

“I’m sorry, but did you see the way that demon looked at me?!” Ryan said, reaching for a magazine from a nearby coffee table. He flipped it open to a random page before it  _ literally screamed _ . A loud, shrill shriek filled the waiting room, bouncing off the walls and causing a ringing in his ears. He slammed it shut and threw it back on the table. If it wasn’t for the fact that he was already dead, he might have just had a heart attack.

“I haven’t read that issue yet,” Beatrice mumbled from her window.

“Tompson is just a shy dude. He’s also a fan of Unsolved, apparently. I'm sure he just didn’t know what to say.” Shane continued the conversation, thumbing his own, more silent, magazine. Ryan sat, trying to catch his breath after the ordeal.


End file.
